Saturday, September 23, 2006

Cuisinart should be ground up, brewed, and served as a $6 Grande Mocha piece of shit

The following is a letter sent to Cuisinart by a member of the DTU staff:

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Cuisinart® Customer Service
150 Milford Road
East Windsor NJ 08520

To The Brilliant Engineers at Cuisinart:

How would you like to wake up to this in the morning?

I don’t know if you’re like me, but I like to have a cup of coffee first thing in the morning. Except, with your poorly designed “Grind and Brew” machine, it’s a complete crapshoot as to whether I’m going to wake up to coffee, or an explosion of burnt coffee grounds and scalding water.

This has happened so often, I have come up with a theory as to why my $100 coffeepot can’t brew a cup of coffee:
The vibration from the poorly designed grinder (which needs special cleaning detail with a toothpick) often unlatches the ineffective plastic hook that is supposed to keep the brew basket in place. As a result, the basket pops open. Without any sort of safety device in place, the machine continues to brew. The outcome is a concoction of rancid, burnt coffee and boiling water that blows up into the machine, onto the machine, onto the countertops, the cupboards, the floor, etc. There is a gummed-up coffee crust that forms on the hotplate, the carafe, inside the machine, inside every little nook and cranny. This delicate cleaning process involves the use of specialized cleaning instruments (toothpicks, barbeque skewers, scouring pads) and at least a half hour of time. Not especially convenient when you’re trying to get out the door in the morning.





Maybe you think there must be “user error” in here somewhere. Indeed, the first half a dozen times this happened, we thought we must’ve done something wrong. But our sharp minds led us to double-, even triple-check the basket before going off to bed the night before. We would check the button, yes, fully out. We would press firmly on the “Cuisinart” logo, to make sure the basket was fully seated. We would even give the basket a little tug, just to see if we could pop it off easily. With this triple-safety-check in place, we felt confident that we had not seated the basket improperly.

Maybe you folks think this is a great design. Perhaps I can send you my coffeepot, so you can enjoy this experience first thing in the morning, too. Please let me know, as otherwise, I will be placing it in the trash.

The attached photos represent the small mess that is produced when I catch the malfunctioning coffeepot early in its cycle. When allowed to complete its ill-fated journey, the disaster is much, much worse.

Please be advised that as a young consumer with disposable income, I have plenty of good spending years ahead of me, and I will never buy a Cusinart product again.


Sincerely yours,

Dead To Us

2 comments:

Andy said...

This is a terrible idea and it does nothing to address the underlying problem, but have you tried taping the door shut and seeing if that has any effect?

Also if you're really sold on keeping this machine, there is, as I recall, a button that releases the door. If you were to open this mechanism and stretch the spring that keeps the button out this would raise the amount of tension it keeps on the latch holding the door shut. A bit of work, but better than nothing.

Unknown said...

I feel for you... We have the same model and have had trouble with the top covers latch so that there would be no brew.
But count yourself lucky. I just walked into the kitchen about 20 minutes ago to rapid clicking and SMOKE!!!
The water hose that runs the water to the heating element had cracked and let come water short out the machine.
Luckily I was home and awake to catch it before it took down my house.
I still haven't seen any recalls for this item yet.
I hope that you were able to get a fix to your problem. Then there will be hope for us getting a safer model.
I don't really want a replacement.