Jiffy Mix: Counterpoint

Let it not be said that Dead2Us™ discourages open debate on whether some person, place, or thing should or should not be dead to us. The following correspondence by a dead2us junior staffer expresses disagreement with a recent posting on the shittiness of Jiffy Pancake and Waffle mix. Indeed, there has been some conflicting opinion regarding Jiffy even before this letter was received. We at dead2us are concerned with the trend of Michigan companies (e.g. Fridgidaire, General Motors) that have become dead to us recently, and were sad to see Jiffy also categorized as such. We leave it to you, dear reader, to make your own determination.

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Dear editors of “Dead to Us” “blog”, I am seriously disappointed with the quality of your “blogging” of late. The editorial that was posted regarding Jiffy Buttermilk Complete Pancake and Waffle Mix was both disturbing and misleading.

My personal satisfaction with this product has been, as the name states, complete. Not only has it proven quick and easy to use, but has exceeded my expectations. The taste, texture and aroma of Jiffy Buttermilk Complete Pancake and Waffle Mix is unparalleled in the instant food product market.

Unlike some of your readers, I am a single man living alone. Between the requirements of my job and various single man hobbies, I find very little time to prepare mouth-watering meals from scratch. When I do happen to decide not to partake in delicious left over Hot and Ready pizza or make a trip to McDonalds for a McGriddle or two, many times the ingredients for a breakfast feast are not readily available, or fit for human consumption, in my pantry. I have made the mistake of purchasing pancake and waffle mixes requiring such items as eggs or milk in the past, only to find lumpy milk in expanded cartons and eggs that expired in June of the previous year in my refrigerator. What is one to do then?

The one ingredient that I can always rely on being available is crisp cold tap water. What can one do with that, you might ask? Jiffy Buttermilk Complete Pancake and Waffle Mix is the answer. Jiffy Buttermilk Complete Pancake and Waffle Mix has been a godsend to my household. Whereas breakfast at home used to consist of a cup of instant coffee, a handful of nacho chips, and a cigarette, now I can enjoy delicious fluffy pancakes every morning! Sometimes I even throw some bacon in the microwave, and live like a king.



Sure they’re not up to par with breakfast food made from actual dairy and poultry products or a stack of steaming Hotcakes from McDonalds, but what can one expect from a product requiring only water to bring out its internal goodness? Would the writer of the anti-Jiffy Buttermilk Complete Pancake and Waffle Mix “blog” disrespect NASA for Tang for not tasting like fresh squeezed orange juice, blame Quakers for the quality of instant oatmeal, or speak ill of Marco Polo because the taste and texture of Kraft Easy-Mac is sub par? I sincerely hope not! All of these products increase the quality of our daily lives in their own way, and the hard working people of Jiffy have never let me down.

In the future I hope that the editors, writers, and reader of the “Dead to Us” “blog” will take time to contemplate where our world would be without the instant products that enrich it, before taking extreme viewpoints and spreading malaise across the internet.

Sincerely,

Christopher M. Jablonski